Doctor Who's Biggest Fan
by blvdgirl
Summary: Stargate SG1's Teal'c discovers the tv show Doctor Who. Will be most enjoyable for fans of both shows.
1. Rose

Disclaimer—I own both Stargate SG-1 and Doctor Who… Seriously, you can check out my DVD collection anytime.

A/N: This piece is just meant to be a bit of fun combining two of my favorite shows and it will make the most sense to fans of both shows. As such it is posted for both fandoms. Hope that you enjoy it. Please review!

DOCTOR WHO'S BIGGEST FAN

CHAPTER 1: ROSE

It was 0600 Monday morning at the SGC, and the hallways were almost empty. However, a deep, resonant voice could be heard echoing down the hallway outside of Colonel Carter's lab "…Then, Rose decisively pushes aside the cowardly boy and rushes over to the wall. There, in a feat of determination and strength, she cuts loose a chain, swings across the firey pit, and frees the Doctor from his captors, knocking the vial of anti-plastic into the Nestene Consciousness and saving the planet." Teal'c paused in his enthusiastic recounting to take a breath and then concluded, "It was one of the most courageous acts I have ever witnessed."

Sam looked at Teal'c across the box that she was unpacking, disbelief and amusement equally apparent on her face. She'd just reported back from Area 51 last week, and what with the Mark IX disaster and the new threat of an Ori Supergate, she hadn't yet been able to get her lab in order. "Anti-plastic? To save the world from shop-window dummies?"

"Indeed. The Doctor carried the vial with him. And," he added proudly, "I researched the creatures on the internet. The shop-window dummies are called Autons, a historically dangerous foe of the Doctor and the planet."

Carter stared wide-eyed at her alien friend. "Teal'c?" she began tentatively.

"Yes, Colonel Carter?"

"You work here, at the SGC, where people… where you actually save the world from _real_ alien threats…" Her statement was almost a question.

Teal'c's face was a picture of serenity as he replied, "Indeed."

"Well," she continued, "I guess I just don't understand how a fictional story, how some TV show on the SciFi Channel, could be so exciting to you."

Teal'c nodded solemnly, as if he was considering her words carefully. "Perhaps, you can join me for next week's episode when the Doctor and Rose travel in his blue box to watch the destruction of earth. Then, you will see for yourself." And, with that the enigmatic man quickly left her office, a small smile on his face, leaving behind a flummoxed and blind-sided Samantha Carter in his wake.


	2. The End of the World

CHAPTER 2: THE END OF THE WORLD

It had been a long week. The possibility of multiple Baals running around and amok was enough to put the entire SGC on edge. Fortunately, Sam thought as she prepared to leave the base on Friday evening, SG-1 had the entire weekend off, a weekend that she intended to spend almost entirely on her motorcycle, just to work the tension out, of course. Then, there were boxes to unpack back at her house now that her lab was finally in order. Plus, there was the slim possibility that if she was very, very lucky, she'd have an out-of-town guest. So, it was that Sam headed towards the elevators with a decided spring in her step.

"Colonel Carter."

She heard a familiar voice call from behind her, and she turned to answer with a smile on her face. "Teal'c."

Teal'c walked quickly to catch up with her. "I am glad that I caught you."

"Yeah, I was just on my way home." Sam said as she inclined her head in the direction of the elevators. The Jaffa continued to look at her with a bright gleam in his eyes, as if he expected something from her. So, she added, "Any exciting plans for the weekend?"

"I will be remaining on base this weekend." He responded stoically. "I did want to tell you that I procured popcorn for tomorrow evening."

Confused, she asked, "For tomorrow evening?"

"Indeed." He nodded. "The program starts at 7pm. I will expect you before that, and if you could bring the beverages…"

"The program, what program?" she asked warily, and, then, with some small mortification, she remembered the conversation that she'd had with the Jaffa at the beginning of the week. It felt like it had been years since he'd been enthusiastically recapping that new television show that he'd discovered to her in her office. She had a vague memory of something horribly camp-sounding like plastic people. "Oh…" she hesitated trying to pin down its title within the landscape of her conscious memory, and then she found it: "Doctor Who?"

"Indeed. In this week's episode, Rose and Doctor will be traveling to the time of the earth's demise. The promotional advertisements have been intriguing. I am sure that we will both be vastly entertained."

And, even though Carter had no desire to watch some SciFi show on her first free Saturday evening back in Colorado, something about Teal'c's bearing as her stood there in the SGC hallway cut through all of her surfacing excuses, and she simply replied, "See you at quarter to 7."

SG1/DW

It was just past eight o'clock MST. Teal'c's room at the SGC, normally quite neat, was cluttered with empty soda cans and some popcorn that Sam had tossed to the floor in disgust. "I still can't believe the gall of that trashy trampoline," she said vehemently to Teal'c who didn't seem to regard her anger as uncalled for. "And, the fact that she had her goons almost kill Rose… Well, she deserved what she got."

Teal'c dipped his head in agreement. "I was surprised as well. I did not initially suspect her of foul play. However, her vanity and her disdain for other species should have alerted me to her true nature. She was most obviously a villain." Then he paused reflectively, "Still, I find I must agree with Rose Tyler: the Doctor might have shown Cassandra more mercy."

Sam thought for a moment and added, "He did seem a bit callous and cold right then, didn't he? But, then there was that tender moment at the end. I don't know. He is a puzzle." Then, the reflective look on her face changed to a smile, "I'm glad that he has Rose. I like her."

"As do I." Teal'c affirmed and continued, " I am now curious to know more about the Doctor's past. Perhaps we will learn more about what happened to the rest of his race next week."

Sam answered, "Perhaps… So, next week the Doctor goes back into the past?"

"Indeed."

"Should we invite Daniel?" She asked gaily, looking for all the world as cheeky as Rose Tyler.

"I believe that we should."

SG1/DW

A/N- Looks like Doctor Who fans are enjoying this a bit more than Stargate fans… Thanks for the encouraging reviews. Teal'c is talking quite a lot in these, but this is my take on him as a gushing fan, so you know… Please continue to let me know how you think I'm doing.


	3. The Unquiet Dead

A/N- Thank you so much for the reviews. I got a great response from both fandoms on the last chapter. I especially want to thank those brave enough to go out on a limb to try to help me improve my writing—constructive criticism is always welcome, though _most_ of the commas were completely warranted… I also want to thank those readers that made suggestions about adding characters. I'm trying to keep as accurate a timeline as possible, lining up Seasons 9 (Stargate) and Series 1 (Doctor Who), so I'm afraid Vala will not be making an appearance until Season 2 which is a total bummer because you're right--she'd adore Captain Jack. Still, we're getting a little bit ahead of ourselves… Where were we? Ah, yes…

CHAPTER 3: THE UNQUIET DEAD

Daniel Jackson sat in his office, his head buried in a mission report. He was trying to translate some worn glyphs on a stone pillar that SG-8 had discovered. His preliminary work indicated that this world might be one to warrant further study, but he wanted to brush some of his ideas past Teal'c. He checked his watch. It was just past eleven o'clock. Commissary, Daniel concluded, and set off to find his friend, photos of the glyphs in hand.

Daniel's hunch was right. Teal'c was sitting in the SGC's commissary with three over-loaded trays of food on the table before him. That wasn't really a surprise. What was a surprise was that Teal'c was sitting with Sam. Sam never ate an early lunch. In fact, whenever they were on-world, Daniel had to go and drag her out of her lab right before the end of the lunch shift and make her eat something.

It should be noted that though Daniel did this willingly, it wasn't completely his own idea. His former commanding officer had left a incredibly irritating and incredibly well-hidden alarm clock in his office on his last visit to the SGC. Every afternoon at 1330 hours, Jack's recorded voice bellowed out that it was time to eat already, and then the singing would start… There were some days when Daniel would have ignored it if he could, but '100 Bottles of Beer' became 'Henry the Eighth' became 'The Song that Never Ends,' etc. And so every day without fail, Daniel fled his office for at least an hour to grab lunch, and he generally brought Sam along with him. Not that he'd ever told her about the alarm… Teal'c knew about it (it's possible that he even had a hand in it), but Daniel had sworn him to secrecy. At which request, Teal'c had raised an eyebrow in thinly veiled amusement and had agreed to keep it quiet.

Daniel went through the food line and grabbed an apple. No point in actually eating now when he'd have to come back later anyhow. Then, he approached his colleagues, who were clearly in the middle of heated discussion, and took a seat.

Carter nodded at him, and then continued her frenzied remarks to Teal'c, "I still say that he was justified."

Teal'c shook his head slightly. "And I still disagree."

"Even though she'd originally planned to just hold the rest of the guests for ransom, she had no qualms about murdering the staff." Carter replied vehemently, and then she screwed up her face and said in a sing-song voice, "_A gift of peace in all good faith_… Puh-leaze!"

Daniel's mouth dropped. The words and tones were just so not Sam. Teal'c appeared not to notice, and he answered back, "She was powerless and in custody. He could have stayed his hand and left her punishment to the proper authorities. The Doctor's actions under the circumstance were vigilante-like and born of personal rage."

As Sam fiercely wielded her bread knife and prepared to reply, Daniel interrupted. "Guys?" They both looked startled at his voice, as though they'd forgotten that he was there. "What's going on?"

Sam looked at Daniel, and suddenly blushed. "Ah, it's nothing."

"No seriously, what are you two talking about? Did I miss a memo or something on the news? Who murdered their staff?" Daniel asked earnestly. "And what Doctor? Doctor who?"

Daniel's stream of questions effectively broke the tension between his teammates because, for some unfathomable reason, they both started laughing loudly, drawing the stares of many people from around the room. Finally, Teal'c pulled himself together and addressed Daniel for the first time. "I am glad that you have joined us Daniel Jackson. Colonel Carter and I were just discussing a television program."

Daniel raised his eyebrows in surprise. "A television show?"

"Indeed." Teal'c nodded solemnly. It is called Doctor Who."

At this Daniel scoffed, "You guys watch Doctor Who?"

"You have heard of it?" Teal'c queried, his expression serious either missing or ignoring Daniel's derisive tone.

"Yeah," Daniel continued, dumbfounded but this strange turn of conversation. "One of my foster moms had a thing for Tom Baker, but I can't say I ever really watched Doctor Who. It always seemed a bit, well, a bit cheesy. "

Now it was Carter's turn to raise an eyebrow, but hers was in inquiry. "Tom Baker? Who's Tom Baker?"

"Tom Baker portrayed the fourth incarnation of the Doctor on British television," Teal'c supplied knowingly. "Christopher Eccleston, the current Doctor, is the ninth actor to execute the role."

"How do they justify that? It's one thing to sub in one actor for the same guy… but nine? You'd have thought it would've definitely jumped the shark by now." Sam remarked thoughtfully.

Did Sam just use the expression 'jump the shark'? Daniel wondered. What in the heck did that mean? But, Teal'c seemed to understand her implication because he responded, "Based on my research on the internet, I have discovered that the process is called regeneration…"

Daniel interrupted; it was time to bring the conversation down to earth. "Sorry guys, I can see that this is interesting," he began with obvious sarcasm, but, upon seeing a slightly dangerous-looking twitch on Teal'c's check, he face added more sincerely, "To you... But, I actually stopped in on business."

Teal'c nodded, apparently appeased for now (or at least willing to let it go). "We can continue our discussion of Doctor Who at a later time. "

"Oh good," Daniel quipped a little too lightly again, but added, "Cause I know it's important to both of you."

Carter rolled her eyes at Daniel's remarks, but Teal'c accepted them with a grave serenity. "It is important, Daniel Jackson, as you will see for yourself when you join me and Colonel Carter this Saturday night at her home to watch the next episode. It is called 'The Unquiet Dead,' and it will feature a character from Tau'ri history named Charles Dickens. I believe that he is an author of great renown."

"What?" Daniel tried to back-peddle under the pretense of clarification, but he knew that he'd heard his friend clearly.

"You will join us on Saturday to watch Doctor Who, and then you too will be able to enjoy our discussions of the program."

Daniel eyed Teal'c warily. He could see that the Jaffa was determined. And, even though he had known Teal'c for nine years, he still wanted to stay on the big guy's good side. After all, it had taken months for Teal'c to forgive him for opting out on that whole jello-wrestling excursion with Jack. In the grand scheme of things, he figured that he could sit through one television show for the sake of team comraderie. So, he acquiesced with a nod and a shrug and an "Ok. Saturday night. Doctor Who." Then, he held up the photos he'd been waiting to share with Teal'c. "So, care to help with a translation?"

"Indeed."

Carter smiled as she stood. "That would be my cue to leave. I've got plenty to do in my lab. See you guys later."

SG1/DRWHO

"So, why isn't Mitchell here again?" Daniel whined from Carter's couch.

Carter entered the room, plopped down next to Daniel, and opened her can of Diet Coke. "He just got back from Washington today after formally briefing the IOA about the whole Ba'al-on-Earth, Jaffa-running-rampant thing. Apparently, they were upset."

"Hmm." Daniel responded, his eyes playful. "I'm surprised that you weren't needed in Washington, Sam."

Carter blushed slightly. But, Teal'c, sitting in the armchair to their right said, "Agent Barrett requested Colonel Mitchell's assistance."

"Really?" Daniel asked, "I would have thought that he'd have wanted Sam."

"He did, but she rejected him again. He, therefore, requested Colonel Mitchell." Teal'c paused. "I believe that he is embarrassed and would feel uncomfortable around Colonel Carter at this point in…"

"Yes. Thank you, Teal'c," Sam finished, her expression guarded and awkward.

Daniel knew that though she drew this sort of attention all over the galaxy, his teammate found it tiresome and unwelcome. It was, however, very difficult not to tease her about it. The boys of SG-1 had outstanding self-control, he determined, and quickly grasped for a new topic. He addressed Teal'c, "And how are things on Dakara?"

"They are unwell, Daniel Jackson."

"Unwell? Would you care to elaborate," Daniel prodded, but at that moment, Teal'c held up his hand and gestured for him to shush. The program was apparently starting.

The three friends watched in silence as Mr. Sneed the undertaker approached the mourning Mr. Redpath. Then, they watched on in horror and confusion as the corpse of Old Mrs. Redpath strangled her son. When the theme music started, Carter said, "Oh, creepy. I've got goose-bumps. This is going to be a good one!"

"Indeed." Teal'c replied.

Daniel could only look between the faces of his two friends with a mixture of amusement and amazement, they looked like children about to enjoy a long-anticipated treat, and asked, "What kind of show is this?"

"It is Doctor Who." Teal'c said.

"Yeah, but I thought Doctor Who was about aliens and… stuff." Daniel stated lamely.

"Shh!" Carter and Teal'c said in unison as the show resumed after a commercial break.

Daniel looked at the TV, bewildered. Now, instead of the undertaker, there was a young, blondish girl talking to a slightly older fellow with big ears. The setting was different, too, but at least it looked a little bit more like the science fiction that Daniel'd been expecting.

"Now, who are these people?" he asked only being shushed again in response, so he, slightly flummoxed by their gravity, continued to try and make heads or tails of what he was seeing on his own. No problem, he thought. This was what he did: observe contextual clues and make deduction based on those clues...The couple, for such he surmised they must be, were discussing time travel. Ok, he could handle time travel, and that would explain the Victorian undertaker who was suddenly back on the screen talking about the reanimated corpses with his maid. Then, the man and the girl were back.

"Is that the Doctor?"

"Shhh!"

"Is that his girlfriend?"

"Shhh!"

"Did she just start travelling with him?"

"Shhh!"

"What's her name?"

"Shhh!"

"Naples? Did he say Naples? Yeah, right. If that was supposed to be Naples, then I might have to leave."

"Shhh!"

"Is this gonna be one of those shows where they travel to different countries and planets but everyone speaks English because they can't be bothered with translations?"

Carter said "Shhh," but Teal'c turned and gave him one of his most severe looks. "Perhaps you should not speak until the commercial break, Daniel Jackson." And Daniel, seeing the stern look in his friend's eye, thought that perhaps he shouldn't.

SG1/DRWHO

As the final credits rolled, Teal'c turned to face Daniel, his expression finally friendly. "I particularly liked the carriage chase, Daniel Jackson, though I imagine that it would be more entertaining for viewers with a more thorough knowledge of the works of Charles Dickens."

"Um, yes," Daniel said, surprised to be addressed so directly on what he considered to be a periphery part of the plot, "I imagine so." Teal'c looked at him expectantly, so he continued. "I really haven't read much Dickens, Teal'c. Victorian Literature was never my thing."

"I see." Teal'c responded, clearly disappointed. Then, he turned his head to Carter, "And what about you Colonel Carter? How will you justify the Doctor's actions this week?"

Sam looked agitated at Teal'c's questions."What do you mean justify his actions? He simply trusted those foul Gelth. They lied to him. He was acting in good faith. And, please don't go on about the corpses and disrespecting the dead because he very clearly said that that would only be temporary."

"But Rose Tyler saw through the ruse. She didn't trust the spirits."

"Fine, Teal'c," Carter plied the discussion away, "Rose is always right and the Doctor is always wrong. Whatever you say…. They did a pretty good job explaining the whole time travel thing, didn't they? Got to give them credit."

"Indeed." But Teal'c was not to be diverted from his debate about the Doctor's culpability. "While I do not believe that the Doctor is always wrong, I do believe that his guilt and other unresolved issues regarding the War do compromise his decisions."

Carter looked exasperated, but before she could reply Daniel intervened by asking, "What war?"

"We do not know. All that we know so far is that the Doctor is the last of his species, and that his fellow Time Lords perished in a war. I believe that we will learn more about it throughout upcoming episodes, and that this information will shed light on his erratic behavior."

Carter made a low growling sound that may have resembled 'erratic' under her breath. Daniel thought it best to steer his friends away from their inflammatory discussion by inquiring teasingly of Teal'c, "Haven't you looked it up on the internet yet?"

"I have refrained, Daniel Jackson."

"Really? Why? You seem so keen to know the history of this show."

"I do not wish to be spoiled."

Daniel's face was a study as he tried to process what Teal'c could possibly mean by spoiled, but Carter accepted the statement nonchalantly. Standing, she gestured towards the kitchen. "Who wants cheesecake?"

Teal'c rose. "That would be most agreeable." He turned to look at Daniel, who was looking at the powered-down TV screen, wearing a slightly sad expression on his face. "Is there something wrong Daniel Jackson?"

"No, not wrong. It's just that I feel a bit bad for Gwyneth is all." Daniel admitted shyly, surprised himself with his thoughts must less his word. "Such a sacrifice, her life and her beliefs…"

"Indeed."

SG1/DRWHO

Next time—Mitchell will have his first Doctor Who experience with Aliens in London & World War III.

A/N—That was a much longer installment than I was expecting and quite a lot of work. Please review and let me know if you were pleased with it, she begged her readers.


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